Have you ever met someone who seemed fake? They’re charming, funny, and confident. Yet there’s something about them that’s off?
Your intuition waved a huge red flag in your mind’s eye, signaling caution! DO NOT PROCEED!
And what did you do?
You ignored the warning and form a connection with that person to only regret it later.
We’ve all been there.
I’ll be the first to admit of learning the hard way.
Character discernment is like completing an American Ninja Warrior obstacle course. It’s incredibly challenging, but with practice, patience, and self trust, it can be accomplished and very necessary for protecting yourself and your business.
What makes character discernment challenging?
From personally experience and observation, I have uncovered 4 basic truths.
1. Adults have become masters at hiding our true selves from the world. Western society has taught us we must be something more than who we are to belong. The search for belonging and acceptance motivates us to consume things we believe will “fix us”
2. Not trusting yourself. There have been countless times I trusted others before myself. Yes, I was naive and yet I didn’t know my own power so I freely gave it away. How many times have you trusted someone’s word over or your intuition? What about a group of friends, or experts? We naturally look to peers and expert opinions before trusting our own judgement.
3. We judge others based on qualities outside of character traits. Some of us discern people based on their personality, looks, financial status, ethnicity, etc. It’s only when we look at character are we truly able to connect with safe people.
4. Allowing emotions to over-ride rational thinking. We buy out of emotion. Marketers know that, sales people know that, and manipulators know that. Being able to pull back those feelings and think things through would save a lot of money and heart-ache.
How to find safe people
Safe people are those who are trustworthy, reliable, and genuine. They’d never intentionally bring you harm and want the best for you. Finding safe people involves being aware of patterns in behavior and conversation, self-reflection and dealing with your own short comings and sticking to personal boundaries.